Gifts and Mirrors

Buddha sat calmly as the angry man hurled abusive insults. After he’d eventually cooled down he asked, “How could you be so calm when I insulted you?” Buddha replied, “If you refuse to accept a gift, to whom does it belong?”

In a flash of insight he understood. “I was angry at my life and took it out on you. You’ve shown me I have a choice. I can be angry, blaming others for my misfortune or I can begin to control myself. I can use my energy more productively to attract a better life by being a better person because my world is a reflection of me.”

When I point my finger at you, three fingers point back at me. Am I noticing in you a reflection of myself? If someone is rude or horrible to me I may get upset and take it personally. But who is it really about? It’s usually about them, not me.

I can deflect negative energy by using my mental mirror. Imagine a mirror between us, they’re pointing at themselves. What they dislike in me is often what they dislike in themselves (also, what they like). This understanding allows me to be less affected by their criticism (or praise). Notice how much personal information they’re offering me without realising it.

Rarely can people keep their happiness or misery to themselves. They offer us these “Gifts.”  If there was a flu epidemic you’d make sure to protect yourself by avoiding contaminated areas or inoculating yourself. You're exposed to the thoughts, words and actions of others wherever you go. How aware are you of the influence this has on you? You can’t avoid some people, but you can inoculate yourself by recognising the “Gift” offered and choosing to accept it or not. Using your mental mirror is a simple and powerful way of doing this.

We see the world not as it is, but as we are. Angry people find a lot of anger around them. Happy people notice a lot of happiness in this same world. Depressed people notice lots to be depressed about. Is it in the world or is it us? It’s hard for a depressed person to notice the things a happy person is giving attention happy in the same situation.

Powerful people have self-control. In the movie “Back To The Future”, Biff manipulates Marty by calling him “Chicken”. Most bullies are insecure. Biff was the “Chicken” not Marty. Those who seek to control and manipulate others often secretly feel inferior to them.

Truly powerful people rarely need to control others because they’ve learned to master themselves. This has great benefits. Like Buddha, you can refuse to accept any negative “Gifts” offered. Your mental mirror makes this easier.